Every night we tell Violet a bedtime story. Some nights they get wonderfully creative, with a big cast of characters, treasure hunts, and imaginative lands. Violet loves to chime in with her 2 cents about who was involved (always her sweet cousins) and what happened (always hilarious). Ty and I usually attempt to weave in a message about being kind or wise or trusting in God and quickly realize that we should leave the parables to Jesus and C.S. Lewis. But we try.
A few weeks ago Ty was traveling for work and I told Violet a bedtime story that was really... hmm... not my best work. I was ready call it a night after a long couple of days and, wrapping up my sad excuse for a story, immediately felt guilty that I hadn't put more thought or effort into our special nightly routine. I looked at Violet, waiting for her to request another, better story.
To my surprise, she breathed a delighted sigh, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek. "Thank you for that wonderful, special story mommy!" She proclaimed, kissing me again and then curling up in her bed, like a full and contented baby. She opened her eyes, slightly, as I kissed her forehead and stood up to leave the room. "Mommy? Could you tell me that story again tomorrow?"
I stood by Violet's bed for a few minutes, watching her shoulders rise and fall as she drifted off to sleep, considering her sweet show of gratitude. How it makes me feel deep in my soul when she says things like "Wow! you are the best cooker EVER, mommy!" (While eating a gourmet dinner of mac and cheese, grapes, and avocado slices) and "When I grow up, I want to be a mommy, because I want to be just like you!" (When my tired, pregnant self suggested a game of "Go Fish" just so I could lie down for awhile.)
I thought about how being a parent (or in any relationship that calls for unconditional, selfless love) in so many ways reveals things about the heart of God.
Our Heavenly Father delights in a grateful heart. He loves it when we turn away from all of our grumbling about the things that could be better, all the people who have wronged us (the poisonous soul venom that is habitual negativity); when we stop and say:
"Father! Thank you for this special story that I am in! I know it isn't perfect, but Your blessings over me truly have outnumbered the fish in the sea! You have made me stronger through my suffering, more compassionate to the pains of others, both hidden and visible. Thank you. Thank you for the sunshine on my face this week. Thank you for my bed. My bed is so comfortable, you make the best beds God! Thank you for the smell of hyacinth and windows that we can throw wide open and playgrounds with dry slides because my kiddos were about to lose their minds this winter, dear Father!
Thank you that today, when my back ached and I felt sad for no reason at all, it rained and snowed and sleeted and I didn't feel guilty declaring it a cozy Barnett movie day. Thank you for reminding me that those are ok sometimes. Even healing.
Thank you, Father, for olives. Right now I want all the salt and they taste so good I cannot even believe it. Thank you for a fire in our fireplace and warm coffee in the morning and my favorite throw blanket because you know, dear Lord, that I run cold and these are just pure luxuries. Thank you for the sweet, quiet moments I have with You in the morning and the loud, crazy moments I have with You in the afternoon cooking dinner and dancing to NeedToBreathe with my babies in the kitchen while we wait for Ty to get home from work. Thank you for their giggles, for I am convinced there is no better sound on this earth.
Thank you for this sweet, fun family that I love with every fiber of my being and could never, ever begin to deserve.
Thank you that You are infinitely greater and wiser and stronger and more loving than we are, that You can see the forest through the trees even in the many dark and low seasons when we cannot. I pray that in these seasons, our hearts would be attuned to all of the special ways that You are sustaining us and loving us. Thank you for creating us and for being our Good, Good Father."
kb
P.S. Oh my goodness I almost forgot!! "And thank you, sweet Lord, for doughnuts. Amen."
